I was discovered in the fourth grade. Not as a fashion model, that came later. Way later. I mean I was discovered by boys. Not the way you might think, though, the way other girls were discovered for sprouting boobs – bodies budding faster than an ornamental pear tree in spring. Nope. I was flatter than a board in that department, a bony, skinny twig of a girl, but I got these glasses that year which served a dual purpose – to see and be seen. (You can read more about that in How I Became a Nerd.)
Instead of sprouting boobs, I sprouted arms and legs longer than from here to the moon. In junior high, when the other girls stopped growing is when my growth spurt really took off. Trouble was, most of the boys hadn’t hit theirs yet. I was given plenty of attention from boys, only not the kind I wanted.
My body was being stretched like a rubber band, pulled in every direction by the force of mitosis. I used to want to be just like my Dad and as a kid I told everyone I wanted to be as tall as him, too. Considering Dad being 6’4” and all, I suddenly came to my senses and told God I didn’t mean that, and would he please stop making me grow now.
I tried eating tons of food to gain weight but it only seemed to make my legs longer and my non-existing curves flatter.
Even my eyeballs stretched. That is what the eye doctor said was the reason for my excessive myopia, or nearsightedness: my eyeballs were too long. Come on! I mean, give me a break already! The light beams which are supposed to meet on the retina to produce a focused image at the back of the eye meet too soon causing a blurry image on the retina. This in turn, causes a nearsighted person to be unable to see clearly at a distance. Only in my case, a distance means about two inches away from my face. Seriously. I take my contact lenses out and I can’t clearly see my hand in front of me, let alone my face in the mirror.
It is really quite fascinating. You think you’re a somewhat highly functioning individual, and get these sudden flashes of realization that if it weren’t for advances within optometry, you’d pretty much go through life as a visually impaired, legally blind blonde.
So here I was with my overdeveloped eyeballs and underdeveloped boobs, when one day, a girl in my class exclaimed:
“You’re so skinny you don’t even have a butt – only a hole in your back.”
Wow. A hole in your back. And you wonder why the boys aren’t swarming.
Instead of sprouting boobs, I sprouted arms and legs longer than from here to the moon. In junior high, when the other girls stopped growing is when my growth spurt really took off. Trouble was, most of the boys hadn’t hit theirs yet. I was given plenty of attention from boys, only not the kind I wanted.
My body was being stretched like a rubber band, pulled in every direction by the force of mitosis. I used to want to be just like my Dad and as a kid I told everyone I wanted to be as tall as him, too. Considering Dad being 6’4” and all, I suddenly came to my senses and told God I didn’t mean that, and would he please stop making me grow now.
I tried eating tons of food to gain weight but it only seemed to make my legs longer and my non-existing curves flatter.
Even my eyeballs stretched. That is what the eye doctor said was the reason for my excessive myopia, or nearsightedness: my eyeballs were too long. Come on! I mean, give me a break already! The light beams which are supposed to meet on the retina to produce a focused image at the back of the eye meet too soon causing a blurry image on the retina. This in turn, causes a nearsighted person to be unable to see clearly at a distance. Only in my case, a distance means about two inches away from my face. Seriously. I take my contact lenses out and I can’t clearly see my hand in front of me, let alone my face in the mirror.
It is really quite fascinating. You think you’re a somewhat highly functioning individual, and get these sudden flashes of realization that if it weren’t for advances within optometry, you’d pretty much go through life as a visually impaired, legally blind blonde.
So here I was with my overdeveloped eyeballs and underdeveloped boobs, when one day, a girl in my class exclaimed:
“You’re so skinny you don’t even have a butt – only a hole in your back.”
Wow. A hole in your back. And you wonder why the boys aren’t swarming.
8 comments:
Bursdag i dag? Gratulerer med dagen! Ønsker deg en god dag :)
Gratulerer med dagen!!!!!!! :D
Takker, takker, jenter :)
Kids can be so cruel!
Hard growing through all that. I wish someone had been around to tell me that eventually, everything kinda falls in place and evens out and life gets much better.
~S
Shephard - it's a good thing it does, isn't it?! :)
Hanulf! Tänk om du ändå hade bott i Borås när du var 10 år (eller jag där du bodde). Då hade vi kunnat fatta varandras beniga händer och säga till varandra att allt skulle bli bra en dag. Det är fruktansvärt underhållande att läsa denna tragikomiska text, och igenkänningsfaktorn är extremt hög. Nu fick jag ju aldrig synfel av att jag växte så fort, men under ganska lång tid kunde jag inte vara med på gymnastiken för att jag hade sådan grotesk växtvärk. Skolsysters förklaring till mitt tillstånd var att skelettet växte så fort att lederna inte hängde med. Gabrielle fyllde 10 för ett tag sedan. Måtte generna vara nådiga mot henne...!
Oh, Agda-Magda - vad underbart det skulle varit att ha en lika snabbt-växade vän under de åren! Livet hadde nog varit lite lättare då. Håppas för Bells skuld att hon sparas det vi gikk igenom, men tagit i betraktning hennes mamma, pappa, morbror, morfar, fastrar, farfar... min tro rubbas.
vad jag letade efter, tack
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