Killing the Blues

“Somebody said they saw me, swinging the world by the tail. Bouncing over a white cloud, killing the blues.” -Robert Plant & Alison Krauss

I’ve been learning to fly lately. Got up pretty high, too. Been high on life, bouncing all over the clouds. Not so much killing the blues as avoiding them, maybe? Thinking it’s time to come down… but having some trouble with my landing gear. Need to learn how to make a safe landing when gravity pulls so heavily. Don’t want to crash and burn. So I’ve been avoiding landing altogether, but I’m running out of steam. Will need to refuel at some point, and then it’s best if I remembered how to keep both feet on the ground, still standing, not lying flat. Been avoiding difficult questions. Been distracted. Been seeking out every distraction to avoid having to think about anything important. But the questions remain. Reality is still reality. And maybe that’s not so bad.

Silence is golden. I’ve always loved silence. But lately, I’ve shied away from it. Silence has been a bit scary, so I’ve simply been numbing it with sound. And activities, lots of activities. It's been fun... but how do you find answers when you don’t have time to listen? And how do you listen when you don’t want to hear? Can you keep flying and still stay grounded?

A burnt child dreads the fire. A burnt child puts up walls for protection. So how can this child run back into a burning building when somebody needs help? How do you decrease the distance without getting scorched? You don’t think about it, you just do it… sure, that’s a nice thought. Been doing a lot of things without thinking lately, been doing a lot of things to avoid thinking. That’s just it. I really need to think about what I’m doing here. Don’t want to pick the default answer just because it’s the default mode. But maybe there’s a reason for the default mode. Maybe it’s what works.

I think I know where to find what I’ve already had. Just need to overcome that… firewall.